Edited Excerpt of My Journal (Jul ~ Aug ’07)

2007/08/27 at 2:51 上午 發表留言

July 27, ’07月亮不會寂寞吧? 再過幾天就要滿月了, 她那麼美麗那麼皎潔. 她說她是少數的,但她不孤單, 因為還有很多很多的星星陪她. 她所反映的是太陽的光, 所以才會那麼的亮. 她有時會想, 為什麼疼痛是那麼的真實, 一大片的黑夜, 但那也曾是她甘願的選擇. 她說有美麗的星星陪她點綴黑暗變成浪漫夜空. 月亮不再孤寂, 因為一顆顆破碎的心, 月亮說都要把她們變成天上一顆顆完整明耀眼的星. 月亮說她要更勇敢, 更體諒.

這樣, 月光會繼續照耀, 直捯永永遠遠. 今天, 月亮很滿足, 月亮很迷人, 月亮是只有祂能創造的奇蹟, 如此美麗.

Aug 2, ’07

Doing an assignment from school, the question asks “Harrison makes this statement in his chapter on miracles: “But the greater the opportunity of contact with Jesus himself, the more subordinate becomes the role of miracle" (p. 121). Explain how you might convey this concept to someone you are counseling who has failed to see God’s intervention in a matter of personal concern (sickness, etc.) and thus is doubting His reality. Use one or more examples from the ministry of Christ studied thus far."

As I was contemplating the answer, Little White happened to play the theme song from Orange Days “Sign." I also happened to open a desk drawer and saw a pic that was meaningful to me. Then the next song was Angela Chang’s “My Best Love." I think I can now answer this question better. We do not always know the reason why certain things do not happen the way we want, things that we thought could bring glory to God in accordance to His Word. However, it is an opportunity to cause us to draw nearer to Christ, and as we do that, as we make closer contact with Him, we actually develop a deeper relationship with the Giver of miracles. With greater and greater measures of divine love and presence, our faith in Him and His Word will grow. In that place, our faith is no longer dependent on circumstances or whether a miracle happens or not, because we’ve come to know the Miracle Maker Himself, and that truly all things are possible with Him. There we learn the greater lesson of patience, endurance, faith, hope and love. There we no longer seek for the miracles per se, but goodness, mercy, and the miraculous will follow us (Psa 23:6; Mark 16:17-18), because we have seen and been with Jesus Christ, Who teaches me the reason behind all His wonderful works: LOVE.

Aug 5, ’07

I believe God is also teaching me the lesson of love through this dream. To really love someone to the core, I need to love them despite the things that are very unpleasant and even “gross" such as anger, hatred, jealousy etc, because real love transcends all those things. I need to put in the effort and courage to get close to those things and clean them up, like Jesus washed the disciples’ feet. I was reminded the price Jesus paid when He took upon Himself all the sins of the world. Sin must be something that’s so much worse than the grossest thing to the Most Holy God. But He loved us through and took it all. I still haven’t come face to face with the grossest thing in a man’s heart. The spiders are the lesson for me now (the unearthly look of the spider speaks of the spiritual aspect). And as I progress by the grace of God, He will take me into the darker regions, and there let the love of Christ shine. And there, love will make the greatest miracles and turn the darkest and most painful hearts into a wellspring of life and light. I asked God that I will see a similar vision of this person’s life condition again in the future (this person is a real person in the real world that I know). But that time, I want to see the room all cleaned up and beautiful, full of the bright sunshine of the light of Christ. Lo and behold, it is coming, says the Lord.

Aug 6, ’07

The other thing is I accidentally knocked my elbow on his car door, which caused a big bruise. And I thought how the elbow is a member of my body, and here I am, talking with a member of God’s family who is hurting. It’s interesting that just this couple days I was thinking about how we cannot help everyone that has problems in this world with our limited time and energy even though I want to, but those who come across our path of life on this earth, those are the ones that we should be Jesus to them. I realized that I can’t possibly record down every sweet moment and experiences with God in my journal even though I tried to. Just like what John the Apostle of Love said at the end of His Gospel, that the world could not contain the books that would be written of all the things that Jesus did. Jesus is still walking upon this earth through His people. I am glad that I could be Jesus (as much as possible) to this person today.

I realized that I don’t need to get myself too tangled up with every new and fun things, or the latest news of everything, in this world. But the most important thing is to spend time and know my Father and Jesus more, and also to help those around me to experience this incomparable and healing love of Jesus. I should never be too busy for God and the people that I come across in my life (which were placed there in my life by God).

Aug 8, ’07

On July 6, ’07, I saw the numbers “1:36," but did not know its meaning right away. I felt like it is about a Scriptural passage. Today during my morning devotion, as I waited on the Lord, it was impressed in my heart that it’s Deu 1:36, which reads, “except Caleb the son of Jephunneh; he shall see it, and to him and his children I am giving the land on which he walked, because he wholly followed the LORD." This confirmed the message in my third vision of Jesus, that is to train up a new generation of the Lord’s warriors. At this point, I am not in a fulltime ministry position like Moses or Joshua, but dedicating my whole life unto God for His Kingdom. I am greatly encouraged by this commission. The persona of Caleb is also very fitting to describe this generation, inasmuch as there are not many wholehearted believers around. There are a few remnants, as always is the case, but really scarce. I can speculate a few that are, but normally these saints are sporadically scattered across the face of the earth. It’s so easy to just go with the crowd, but by the grace of God, I have determined to continue to love and trust in my God wholeheartedly for the rest of my days, regardless of circumstances. Raise up a generation that will love the Lord their God with all their hearts, souls, minds and strengths.

Aug. 14, ’07

這位教會的大姊, 真的很讓我欣賞. 教牧同工開會時, 她是那樣的真誠坦率, 相信我們, 分享她這禮拜對一些不好的態度. 她越分享我越覺得她越來越可愛. 她也說在這過程當中, 她的先生是如何的有耐心的對待她, 疼她, 他對她說的話, 總是會溶化她的心. 我覺得好高興好浪漫哦, 像她這樣的人, 就是值得一位很愛很愛她的另一半. 也看的出來, 她真的很愛她的小孩.

每次只要單是看到她, 聽到她的聲音, 就會有使我整個心靈被昇華的感覺, 讓我突然想要變的很溫柔很想去愛人. 我看見一顆美麗的心, 美麗的靈魂, 所以我也覺得她的長相身量是如此的可人. 其實她已經四十歲了, 身材以一般人的標準也算胖, 但是我知道當她到了六七十多歲的時候, 我還是一樣會覺得她是那麼的可愛優雅, 那麼的有感覺, 想緊緊的抱抱她, 親親她的臉頰, 告訴她我很愛她. 我想我這一輩子永遠不會忘記她那次在教會, 知道到了我身體的一些狀況後, 給我的那個擁抱, 對我說的那番話. 雖然很簡短, 雖然是很常聽到人說的那種鼓勵的話, 但她講起來就是不一樣, 感覺剎那時我觸碰了一個全世界最純潔, 最真實的一顆心, 那一瞬間我知道我所聽見的不單是她的聲音而已, 我聽到了耶穌的聲音, 藉著她對我說話. 我的心很久沒有這麼感動過了.

哈哈, 如果我是和她出生在同一個年代, 那喬治大概會瘋狂的愛上她吧, 啊哈哈. 喬治真的是在這種溫柔體貼愛神愛人的人面前沒有任何的抵抗力, 而且她也很幽默很哦, 該大膽的時候也不會忌諱, 哈哈.

我曉得在這世上所有的相遇沒有一件只是個單純的「巧合」而已, 或說是一個刻意安排好的巧合吧. 我會珍惜, 我不會覺得理所當然, 然後失去後才再後悔莫及. 我超感謝神讓我遇見她, 對我生命有非常非常大的鼓勵. 我想, 她真的是天使吧. 我非常的幸運, 因為我曾擁有過天使溫暖的擁抱.

(哈, 然後為什麼要用中文打呢? 因為她也在我的Facebook朋友名單裡, 哈哈, 真不好意思, 絕對不能讓她知道我在寫關於她的好, 嘻嘻!)

Aug. 15, ’07

哈哈, 我覺得我老了以後會變成老頑童耶… 啊哈哈… 像是六七十歲時, 還是一樣童心童樣滴… 嘻嘻~

I was quite touched this morning during devotion. I was thinking how “coincidental" this man of God’s son happened to be training in Vancouver, so that I might have some more connection with him. You know I’d feel so blessed just to have one handshake with a real man of God in my entire life and never again. My life is a living drama revealing the fact that it is God Who is great, all the great men and women of God are only great because of Him. However, God does use people to encourage and take us beyond what we can be. I don’t think I would have kept my passion for the deep things of God if not for this man of God.

I saw Acts 26:19 twice today: “Therefore, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision." God was speaking to my heart to be faithful to my call. Rom 11:29 “for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable." He will always give gifts in order for us to fulfill the call. It is the plan that God has ordained us to do even before the foundation of the world. I feel very privileged to be part of God’s plan on earth. I ask that I would be faithful to fulfill my specific offices and ministry. Thank you God, help me to be completely content with what you’ve called me to do, ever be so faithful, and never exceed to limit that you’ve placed. Great or small, or tiny, it doesn’t matter, I live to fulfill this call in my life, because I live to serve You, not works. May the works be a complete expression of my love toward you. I surrender my heart each day, and take up the Cross to follow you, willingly, cheerfully, by Your grace.

Hehe, and also not long ago, our cell group icebreaker topic was if you want to become a fruit, what would you want to become? For me, I want to be sweet little blueberries, hehe, for no particular reason, but that they are sweet and cute!!! Hoho, and not long after that, Mom’s got a handful of blueberries, so much that we can’t finish them! Thank God!!!   =)

Whenever I see another man of God (who has gone glory already), he actually reminds me of Dad, the look and image I mean, because I can hardly recall how my Dad is actually like in personality and demeanor. But that’s such a strange feeling, reminds me of the vow that I made, to give and be to people the privilege that I did not have, because I have found Father. The fatherless ones will now have a Father.

Aug. 19, ’07

A few week’s ago, Ps Jonathan’s niece came to visit Vancouver and I got to meet her on Sundays. She is very young, just about to attend Gr.8, but looks like 17 or 18. Her name is Alice. I got to talk to her a bit during three Sundays after the church service. She can’t really understand English and doesn’t know anyone in the church of course. So I tried to befriend her and tried to make her feel more welcome by starting some conversation with her. I don’t know whether she knows God or not (but Jonathan said she goes to church), but I thought either way, I should do my best to share the love of God with her, so that when she goes back to Taiwan, it would be a pleasant memory to recall in her life. I did talk to her again today after the service, but didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye to her as she left (my mom drove her home), but I thought of an idea. I took a card at church, those situated on top of the mailboxes in the foyer, which were actually sympathy cards provided by the Gideons. But anyways, I wrote something in the card, and then gave it to Jonathan and asked him to give the card to her. Although we only had some brief casual chatter altogether, and since she’s still quite young, I don’t know how much she understands my heart, but somehow I feel very happy to have made these contact with her. I may never meet this little girl again in my earthly life here, but it is my prayer that she’ll grow up and become a woman of God, and a doer of God’s awesome love in the days to come. God bless and love you Alice.

Aug. 21, ’07

當愛驅散懼怕的那瞬間, 勇敢絢麗光彩, 是我的盛情.

Aug. 26, ’07

今天上帝跟我惡作劇, 祂這個玩笑也開的太過分了吧. 嘿, 其實我心裡面還有點希望這個惡作劇能繼續… 哈, 算了… 就是個玩笑, 我看我還是只有作英雄的份. 喬治, 看你還能耍帥多久!!!

喂, 這樣很過份耶!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Entry filed under: 日誌札記. Tags: .

我通通都不要 (I Don’t Want Any) Edited Excerpt of My Journal (Sep 2007)

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「即使祂不再垂聽我任何一個祈禱,我也要愛祂到永永遠遠。」

《 Op. Love – プロポーズ大作戦 》

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